Brokeback Mountain

Kudos to Phil Jackson for making a comment that our left-leaning "friends" in this world would take offense to. After being asked if "penetration" was what caused the Lakers' loss, the quick-witted coach responded, "we call this a Brokeback Mountain game because there is a lot of penetration and kickbacks." Hillarious.

And why does the NBA think it is the spokesperson for the Rainbow Coalition? Seriously, when Tim Hardaway was HONEST and said he didn't like gay people, the freaking NBA blacklisted him from the All-Star game. Now, the NBA's Bryan McIntyre comes out again and "reprimands" Jackson (as in McIntyre is telling Jackson, "you've been a very naughty boy." I realize that with the WNBA comes a lot of fans who put from the rough, but there is no need to freak out evertime someone says something that 70% of the population agrees with. It's funny. I'm a fat guy, I tell fat jokes all the time. I don't run to the ACLU everytime I hear a fat joke. Lighten up NBA, or else people are going to start wondering why Bryan McIntyre is on the "Re-Elect Larry Craig" committee.

A-Rod: Classless piece of S*&!

How about this for classless, money-grubbing piece of garbage. A-Rod wins the Hank Aaron award (still the home run king in my mind), and skips due to a "family matter." Then the homo announces that he is opting out of his contract in the middle of Game 4 of the World Series. You know what, A-Rod? When you win the freaking Hank Aaron award, get the eggs to tell Uncle Rodrigo that you'll have to wait until next year to attend his annual super-salsa birthday fiesta.

A-Rod represents everything I hate about baseball....stats......money-grubbing.....and just another of Scott Boras's bitches. I love the fact that Jason Varitek and Dice-K both called off the pitbull Boras in his negotiations with the Sox, and told that greedy bastard to "get the job done." Now, they're world series champs.

Bryce Atkinson

Former BYU linebacker, Bryce Atkinson, recently shared his struggle with addiction to prescription painkillers and narcotics in a recent story in the DMN. While I certainly feel bad for Atkinson, I find it ridiculous that he and his father are blaming BYU for his struggles. If BYU is to blame, Bryce, then how did your freaking wife get hooked to heroin with you? This isn't rocket science dude, you have an addictive personality, and you have a hard time controlling your addictions. I apologize and I empathize, but the onus is on you, and not your doctors for trying to keep you out of pain.

Good luck with your recovery, and you know, try not to obtain narcotics with intent to distribute anymore....it never looks good on a Resume.

Red Sox Win!

Man, it has been awhile, but last night I celebrated with the rest of the Nation as the Red Sox ousted the Rockies to win their second World Series in four years. I have a few thoughts on the off-season and the big win.

1. I remember the great response I got from non-Sox fans when they won it in '04. I have been somewhat surprised by the all-out negative responses I've received from many fans of baseball. We've lost the loveable loser label, and now people think we are the new Yankees. Here is why we are NOT the new Yankees:

• We will not open our checkbook for overpriced free agents. Theo Epstein and the crew set a value for any player and refuse to pay more. Remember Johnny Damon and Pedro Martinez? Those were two of the most popular players on the Sox '04 team, and they cut them loose because they wouldn't exceed what the organization thought Damon & Pedro were worth.
• We have an excellent farm system and many of the key players on this year's team are home-grown talent. Youkilis, Papelbon, Lester, Pedroia, DelCarmen, Kevin Cash ('Belli's heir), made HUGE contributions to the organization. With Clay Bucholz on the up and up, our rotation is set for a few years. Yes, we went out and paid top dollar for Daisuke, but it is not like we just snapped our fingers and threw down 101 million. The Sox have followed Daisuke since Epstein started in Boston (in fact, the Padres, whom Epstein worked for, first started to scout Matsuzaka when he was 18). It was calculated and not intended to be a "win now" transaction. Thus, we are built to continue to win "the right way."
• This is our first AL East title in a decade! The Yankees have won from 96 on.

We're not the Yankees. Do we have a high payroll? Yes. But after Manny is done next year, I project that our payroll will dip down to the 120 Million mark. Erstwhile, the Mets, Angels, Dodgers, Mariners, and others will around the same mark (especially with A-Rod on the open market).

2. I hope to heck we can re-sign Mikey Lowell. I love everything about that guy, and he is a perfect fit for the Sox. He had a huge year, and I hope we can meet him in the middle, because he is one of those guys that I feel privileged to have seen in a Sox uniform.

3. After giving this a lot of thought, I have come to a drastic conclusion. If the Red Sox sign A-Rod, I will not root for the Sox as long as that stat-loving homo is on the roster. I hate A-Rod with a passion, and there is only one thing the Sox can do this year that can make us the "new Yankees"--sign A-Rod. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. What have his stats gotten the Yankees? Three straight defeats in the ALDS. Remember, this is the same guy that got bumped down to 8th last year in the ALDS. Mr. April, Ms. October...that is A-Rod in a nutshell.

ENEMY OF THE NATION #1: Clemens runs back home to Momma

I grew up idolizing this stubble-faced moron to the left. If my little league team had a jersey with 21 on it, come hell or high water, it would have been mine. I ruined the siding of my house throwing pitches against the house (although aiming for the 2.5 feet of concrete on the bottom) pretending I was Rocket. When the Sox let him go, it was devastating to me. It seemed coincidental that he ended up in pinstripes...he got to NY via a trade. When he 'retired' in after '03, he seemed to want to not be a Yankee, and his dwindling performance and desire to be with his kids seemed to get the best of his indominable, competitive spirit. When he signed with the Astros during the '03-04 offseason, there was much speculation as to why: family, home, and Texas pride. I, however, knew the real reason. He couldn't stand those pinstripes. He came up through the Sox system, and would have remained in beantown had Dan fetching Duquette not run him out.

Now it is clear: I was delusional. He re-signed with the Evil Empire for 18 million dollars. He passed up on the chance to get a guaranteed World Series victory in Boston, or go help the sub-.500 Yankees. What a schmuck. So he sells his soul to the devil himself, and his poker face vanishes--replaced by a bedeviling, greedy, grin...revealing the pinstripes that are imbedded on his very soul.

Screw you Clemens. Take your 18 Million dollars and your exit from the postseason in the ALDS and shove it!

Four in a Row Makes it a Clean Sweep!

Down 3-nill, bottom of the 3rd against a AA pitcher whose used his change and fastball to keep the Sox hitters off balance. Up come Manny Ramirez. He had 1 HR this season and was hitting under .200.

Biznam: He hit it (literally) out of the park. 3-1 Spanks....but the boys are back in the ball game.

Up next JD Drew. He's been the Sox' most consistent hitter, but he only has 1 HR. The kid hung a breaking ball and Drew cranked it past the 420 marker and over the bullpen.
3-2 Spanks.....we're getting something going.

Up next Mikey Lowell. (I'll preface this by saying I'm the hugest freakin' Mikey Lowell fan). He's been our spark plug all year. He and Drew carried the offense for the first 8 games. He cranks the ball over the monstah, over the monstah seats, and onto the Massachusets turnpike. 3-3....Sox are back in the ballgame.

Back-to-back-to-back. Nice work.

Up next: O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN Jason Varitek. He's been warming up at the dish as of late, and he has been hitting with power from the right side. He parks the 1-0 pitch over the monstah. 4-3 Olde Towne Team.

The first time the Red Sox have hit back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers, the first time it has happened against the same pitcher in 45 years. BEAUTIFUL.

Papelbon gets save #5, inducing AROD into a game ending ground-out, and the Sox swept the Spanks right out of Boston (first time they Sox have swept the Spanks at Fenway since I was 10). Tampa Bay should be sight for the sore eyes of Torre and the 185 Million dollar sub-.500 Yankees. How bad does it suck to be the Boss right now??



Up next the freakin' Blue Jays. I hate the Jays.....

The Most Important of Questions

Mr. Romney was in Iowa City, IA this afternoon campaigning for the Presidency.

After many people asked him questions on foreign policy, illegal immigration, and tax cuts, I could no longer resist....I had to ask him the mother of all questions:

GOVERNOR ROMNEY ARE YOU STILL A SOX FAN? To which he replied, "Go Sox!"

My vote is no longer up for grabs ladies and gents....and people say he flip-flops....